Happy Birthday Mom...

...people say she looks pretty good for 84! Not moving real well, thinking is blank.

Wednesday morning, I hit the bathroom and shower at 7:20, Mom was in bed. I'm out at 7:35, and so is Mom, and guess where she's been?

Let's say the kitchen became the bathroom, she turned the wrong way coming out of bed or something like that, found the kitchen, poop everywhere, down legs, on floor, on dishtowels, down the hallway, walked into the carpet; got Mom in the shower, dried off, dressed, to morning Mass, then get the carpet cleaner again, had most of the stuff cleaned up by Noon.

And of course right after she did it, she said 'I didn't do that'.

Perhaps she didn't.

Perhaps there's the old 'rational' Mom and the new 'blank' Mom.

Its the 'blank' Mom that doesn't know what day it is, says she lives in Montana, gets the names of people either mixed up or completely wrong.

Its the 'blank' Mom that can't order and sequencing of clothing, requires help with hand washing (doesn't know warm water, rinse, get the soap).

And the 'blank' Mom still loves flowers and music and large screen presentations at the Aquarium; remember, with dementia, there is never a re-run!

Confabulation

Mom's confabulating badly this afternoon, weaving these weird stories in a really weird/strange voice. Things that seem to 'randomly connected' are Church, School, big dogs, people calling from the Church, little girls, creamed ice cream, about 16 people who cut up the big dogs. This has been happening for about 2 hours this afternoon, but I can put her in the car and drive her around and she's perfectly quiet, I feel like the McDonalds ad that's running here with the baby sleeping in the back set and Dad driving around and around the drive-thru window over and over again!

Something is always moving...

When Mom sits, the hands are moving, the fingers are moving, its either rubbing her clothes, tapping her fingers.

When Mom walks with out my assistance, she's clenching her fingers all the time.

But when she goes to sleep, she's out!

Choices...

for someone with dementia, choices are almost impossible; the normal kind of choices like what do you want to eat, what clothes do you want to wear.

Here's a normal 'choice' task and Mom's usual answer:

'Mom, do you want to have steak or fish for dinner?'

'humm, I don't know, let's have both!'

It happens all the time, so there are things that I don't allow her to try to do, things like ordering food out, and clothes to wear, I just do it for her. I know people think that I'm not such a nice guy when I do it, but I've been living inside the confusion of Mom's dementia for so long....its my little coping mechanism!

Food things...

...wow, Mom will now eat any quantities of food I put in front of her, preferably sweet things. In reading about other's and their experiences with dementia, sweet things rule.

Problem that I've started to see now is swallowing; Mom will eat, chew, get another bite, chew some more, get another bite, chew some more, until she's got cheeks like a chipmunk, I have to 'remind' her to swallow; same with the morning meds, she'll put them in her mouth (after I get them ready and hand them to her along with the water, she won't want to take the water, and when she does, I have to remind her to swallow it. Strangest thing!

A sad day in Arizona and the USA...

Shooting a Congresswoman and a Judge and 10 others in public, shame on this country!

Back to dementia, today is one of those days when I think Mom has disconnected all reason between her brain and mouth. Saturday is the day when we go to Mass at 9AM and 5PM since Mom is usually sweet and nice in Church; so this afternoon Mom will go to sleep for 15 minutes or so, and the next thing out of her mouth is 'we are going 9 o'clock Mass 5 O'clock Mass' and then it becomes '7 o'clock Mass, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday 9 o'clock Mass this morning' and variations on that theme, wanders into the kitchen, then towards the front door, lather rinse repeat. No matter what she says, if its a day, its 9 o'clock Mass 5 o'clock Mass.

Its just so hard to see.

A somewhat better day...

Mom's happier today, maybe its the cookies and ice cream!

As people and our population age, hopefully gracefully, the demands on the medical and care systems are only going to increase.

I met a 'friend' from Church today at the grocery store, he and his wife had moved his parents (Dad, was 91, just passed, Mom is 88) from Arizona where they were in a home up here to Central California into another facility. Apparently Dad and Mom, while together, functioned OK in the facility, but since Dad passed a month ago Mom has really taken a dive. He mentioned in two weeks he's moving her into a Residential Care Facility in Southern California; I don't know a recently widowed 88 year old is going to handle that move, I suppose with the Grace of God she will get by.

Mom's Chiropractor, here's a story. Mom started going to the 'family business' of he and his father 27 years ago after hurting her back picking up a TV set. Recommended by a couple of friends of mine, both Ph.D. level people, they're not stupid. Dad Chiropractor retired about 10 years ago, son kept the business/practice going. Two and half years ago his long-term office person was going to have bypass surgery (long term smoker) and never came home. Two years ago dad had a stroke so he was put into a long-term care home, left side affected. Dad died about six months ago, and his Mom died a month later. Chiro's wife's parents, her Dad died this year, her Mom is in a home now too. Between the Chiro and wife they've lost three parents in one year, had their oldest daughter move back home from college and the younger son depart for college. Talk about 'life change units'!

I've gotten Mom out for a couple of walks today, bright sunshine and cool weather. Don't know if it helps her, but it can't hurt.